I'm sorry

I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
I couldn't know.
I couldn't forsee.
My heart shredded.
Everything I knew torn apart as if made of paper.
A life burned beyond recognition.
And I don't have the ability to be what I need to be.
For myself and others.

And he smiles. And he laughs. And walks through a life untouched. He doesn't hold ashes in his hands. He takes the greatest intimacies and thrusts them into his pockets as if he now owns them. He laughs again and walks down the street while pictures of his control dance through his head.