Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Telling you was the worst mistake I ever made

"Telling you was the worst mistake I ever made." The words were drenched in resentment and bitterness.
"My life has gotten worse because of you. It's worse than what happened because you won't let me get past it. You stick in my face everyday. Everyday I have to look at the expression on your face as if you're the victim. I dread when you show up to pick me up. I told you that I felt relief when you knew. I don't feel that way anymore. This is not about sharing the burden. This is about you. But not everything is about you. It didn't happen to you."
Was it possible to be tasered by words? The worst mistake? They had crossed over into that alternative world that only they could sometimes inhabit, where the conventions and logic always escaped him.
She later said that it was frustration, not anger. But that was not true. When he became frustated, his voice rose a little. He became animated. There was an expression of incredulousness in the sound. But hers was not frustration. There was acid in her voice. There were three years of resentment festering, burrowed deep inside her. She was disgusted by the way that he was behaving and wanted to escape him.

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